As per vedic Sanatan Dharama marriage is not a certificate or an approval on behalf of parents for bride and groom to live as husband and wife and produce children but it is much more as per Vedanta philosophy. As per vedic marriage procedure, marriage is a sacrosanct and inviolable solemn commitment of loyalty to each other between bride and groom. This sacred and inviolable commitment is given in presence of god fire and gets documented in accounts of god.
The priest should tell both the bride and groom what exactly are the commitments between them. Here I share the commitments given by groom to bride and in turn bride to groom. It is taken from a my upcoming book on Spiritual wisdom.
These sacred commitments are called "saat phere" or seven rounds around sacred fire"
The groom says to bride - " Dear friend, I commit to you that you will be owner of food grains in my house.You put one step towards me.
Further groom says - Dear friend - May you be powerful and energetic, I offer my full support. You put second step towards me .
The groom says - "Dear friend - may your glory be increased and may the riches increase in household. I offer my full support. You put third step towards me.
Further groom says - "Dear friend - let your glory be increased, may you enjoy pleasures of riches and family life. I commit my full support to you. You move fourth step towards me.
Further groom says - " Dear friend - May your glory be increased. May you enjoy pleasures of domestic animals like cows etc. I offer my full support. You move your fifth step towards me.
Further groom says May your glory be increased. May you get happiness in all 6 seasons of the year, I offer my full support. You move your 6th step towards me.
Last but not least, groom says - " dear friend -may your glory be increased Lord Vishnu may accept all seven steps or Supreme God Vishnu may solemnize our commitments of loyalty.
Now bride is still not ready to come to her groom. Bride says give me some more commitments. She says -
1. Whenever you perform yagya or any action, take me into confidence.
2. You do any charity work or help someone by money, take me into confidence.
3. There are basically 3 stages of life childhood, youth and old age. You have to take care of me in all ages.
4.You have to take me into confidence in money matters.
5. Whenever you purchase any household object like cow, bullock or anything, take me into confidence.
6. Throughout 365 days of the year, you have to take care of me. Give a commitment to me.
7. Do not insult me in presence of my friends and never speak harsh and hard words to me.
If you give all these 7 commitments, then I am ready to come to your side.
To this, groom puts some conditions-
Groom says - You will not go alone anywhere to lonely places like forest or any place.
Further groom says - You will not to in front of drunk people.
Further groom says -
You will not go to your parents house without my consent.
Further groom says - " Dear Friend - you will not disregard or disobey my instructions within framework of the scriptures or within reasonable limits."
If you agree to my conditions, I agree to your conditions. Both agree with each other.
Till now, bride took seven commitments from groom, and groom already gave seven commitments to bride. So bride is at higher gain. Now groom puts further seven conditions to bride as under -
1. I am ready to accept you if you fulfill my family traditions.
2. You have to give happiness to my family.
3. You have to speak sweet and pleasant voice, give up anger and lethargy and obey instructions of my family elders that are in conformity with scriptures.
4. Give me pleasures and glory.
5. You have to carry out my instructions.
6. You have to serve my parents.
7. Treat my sisters with due respect.
If you commit to fulfill all these seven conditions put by me, then you can come to my left side, I accept you as my better half.
Bride consents and marriage is solemnized.
There shall never be any family conflict in family life if both bride and groom keep their commitments. This is where I truly feel proud of the Sanatana
Vedic Dharma. Here commitment is not temporary but life long. There is no one
word substitute for divorce in Hindi or Sanskrit vocabulary, perhaps vocabulary
compilers never thought about it. Apart from Karva Chauth, there is another
fast women keep for their husbands' well being, it is Vata Puja.
Dr Ramesh Singh Pal
Scientist, Writer, Spiritual motivator
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